01
LISA
FXXK UP THE WORLD
Oop — we can already hear the Blinks, Lisa stans, and YG defenders warming up their Twitter fingers. And guess what? We said what we said. Come at us, babes!
Look, tossing an F-bomb over a TikTok-friendly beat does not automatically give you a hit — it gives you noise. Where’s the artistry? Where’s the originality? Hell, where’s the effort??
Lisa is THAT girl when it comes to visuals, fashion, dancing! But rapper? Vocalist? Sis, be serious. YG throwing her into this “rap superstar” narrative is the real crime here. They set her up! And for what? Clout in the Western market? The U.S. rap scene eats industry plants for breakfast — and right now, Lisa’s on the menu.
Breaking into the global scene ain’t just about a pretty face and Fendi deals. It’s about substance. It’s about authenticity. This ain’t shade — this is tough love, sugar-coated in truth. And let’s not act brand new — fans and critics alike have been whispering this for a minute… we’re just saying it out loud.
Final Verdict?
Lisa stays booked, busy, and beautiful — but this track? Unbook it. Delete it. Next.
02
JISOO
EARTHQUAKE
Alright, we know the hardcore BLACKPINK and YG stans are about to come for us, but guess what? We’re ready—bring it on! Phenomenal actress? Absolutely. Singer? Mmm… not quite there yet.
The song? Catchy for sure, but it’s repetitive and kinda feels like it’s missing that little spark to make it pop. The choreography? Fun, and definitely challenge-worthy. But would we call this her best song? Or the best song of the year? No, not at all.
And here’s the real question—will Jisoo ever give us range? Will she ever serve up those raw powerhouse vocals we’re all waiting for? Authenticity? The verdict is still out on that. And honestly, this track? Just proves it. Subpar vocals and range—she’s got the potential, but we’re still waiting for her to show us more.
03
ZEROBASEONE
DOCTOR DOCTOR
Look, we tried to vibe with this track, but… it just didn’t hit the way we hoped.
We’ve never been crazy about ZB1, so we didn’t walk in expecting fire, but this comeback? It gave more than their past releases, no doubt. Still, it wasn’t enough to live up to the hype.
At this point, we’re really wondering—will ZB1 ever drop that one track that blows us away? Guess we’ll just have to wait and see… but for now, this one? Missed the mark for us.
04
EVNNE
HOT MESS
Whew… okay EVNNE, what is going on here?? Be so serious. If this is what we’re calling “experimental,” then congratulations — y’all just experimented your way straight back to 2012.
Look, we love a good party anthem. We love a good carefree bop. But this? This feels like that one friend who shows up late to the party… in neon shutter shades… blasting LMFAO unironically. Wrong place, wrong era, wrong vibe.
Maybe if this dropped in the peak of summer — rooftop drinks flowing, sun kissing our skin — we’d tolerate this nostalgic fever dream. But right now? In this economy? In this playlist climate? Baby, it’s giving dated. It’s giving forced fun. It’s giving Spotify skip.
To be clear: we get it. Not every song has to be deep or life-changing. But if you’re gonna call a track Hot Mess, just make sure it’s the fun kind of messy… not the “what in the Forever 21 clearance rack is this?” kind.
EVNNE, we still love y’all. But next time? Let’s leave 2012 where it belongs — in our cringey Facebook memories.
05
KIIKII
DEBUT SONG
Whew, KIIKII… babes… who approved this?
Let’s just call a spade a spade — this debut lowkey (highkey) sounds like a bootleg I’VE demo that accidentally made it to streaming. Cute? Sure. But also… not really?? It’s giving “copy her homework but change a few words” energy — and not even in a slick way.
And yes, we know they’re label sisters. We know Starship loves a formula. But chileee, did y’all even try to switch it up? We love a little K-pop déjà vu moment… but this is giving Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V.
And let’s be real… the last thing K-pop needs right now is another company scandal brewing in the background. The girls just wanna debut in peace without Dispatch on speed dial, pls.
Our honest take? This ain’t it, bestie. If this is the current standard for what’s considered a “hit,” we might need to gather ‘round and have a lil K-pop intervention.
But don’t mind us — we’ll just be over here grabbing our snacks, kicking our feet up, and watching the messy storyline unfold like true drama-hungry aunties.
Final Verdict:
Cute gowns, nice gowns… but originality left the chat.
06
PLAVE
DASH
Alright, let’s just go ahead and say it louder for the people in the back: WE. ARE. NOT. HERE. FOR. THIS. AI. MESS.
Like… respectfully (but also not really), this whole “AI in K-pop” thing? Yawn. Delete it. Archive it. Send it back to whatever futuristic brainstorm board it crawled out of.
We weren’t vibing when aespa tried it in their debut — and guess what? We’re still not vibing now with PLAVE. No shade to the vocals (they snapped), no hate to the outfits (they served), but this AI gimmick? BABY BE SERIOUS.
Music is about connection, energy, feeling real — not watching digital avatars glitch their way through choreography like we’re in some Sims expansion pack gone rogue.
This whole concept needs to stay exactly where it belongs: in a dusty PowerPoint slide labeled “Things We Should NEVER Actually Do” — permanently pinned to the wall in some strategy meeting we weren’t invited to.
Final Thoughts?
This AI thing? Burn it with fire. We want the idols, not iDolls.